guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i believe in u and ur pee
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize