Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
