the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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