okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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