Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My vagina just clenched in fear
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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