I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
