he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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