He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
