I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
