so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
