Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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