Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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