so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
