My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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