But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Let's paint friendship bongs
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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