it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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