You made me cry and you don't even care
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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