I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
