I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
