I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
