Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
