He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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