By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
