So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
