Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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