I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
