I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
