I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
