I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
