do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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