you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
try to milk me bitch
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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