I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize