i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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