Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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