So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
