We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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