Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
