As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
