He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
