Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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