She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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