Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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