5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
