I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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