Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize