the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
