You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
