this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
