I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
is wine microwaveable?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
