The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
