His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
