I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
