Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
