She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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