Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize