Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
