im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
