I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
