Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you win again, gameday.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
