Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize