i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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