you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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