Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
